T.I.R.E.D

I am so tired! I wonder why... a particular colleague has been telling me that ever since i started on my 5 day work week, i seems to be looking very tired. What do they expect? 5 days work week is something that I have to adjust back to and looking at the amount of work pile on me, i can't even breathe. Piled up work is ok but when work that piles up are like stranger to you, then it just makes things so difficult. What's more, arrows are shooting at you every minute. I kind of lost the motivation to move on somehow. It has come to a point where I am even tired of doing things that i enjoyed. Have I been too complacent for the past 2 years? Maybe... ...

Things haven't been going on too smoothly, in terms of health. Times where I really ask God why are those things happening to me? I dun even know what I should be doing next. Should I go for another health screening or should i just stay where I am. I am scared of what the health screening result will show. I mean I still have a long way in life to go and I still want to build my family with handsome sons and pretty daugthers. I also know that if I just ignored, it may not be fair to my other half. I am lost, confused, scared and I feel that I am just going through the days as what God brings each day. Come what may. What should I do? I hate this kind of feeling, it's like getting lost without a map, a compass or even a directory. I wonder where is God and what is His plans for me/us.

Haiz... I am tired. Really tired... lost the fighting spirit...