A new journey

Gerald is 1 month old now, 34 days old to be exact as of today. It's been a bitter sweet journey so far and I am looking forward to every new day. It's a miracle and what a pleasant journey God has brought us through since the day Gerald was concieve in my womb. The day I gave birth to him, no words could describe the beautiful moment when my eyes first set on him and nothing can describe the process of delivering him out into the world. Like our previous post, we have no words except Thanks to the gynae, nurses and definitely God.

Gerald was still so tiny when he came home on 15 Nov, i still rem how I didn't really dare to carry him and how i will always popped into his room to see how beautiful he looked when he was sleeping in the cot. When he cries, how my heart breaks and felt so lost becoz i do not know what he wants. And when he was admitted back into the hospital for jaundice, I cried buckets becoz I miss my lil darling so much. I can't wait to have him back home on the friday he discharged. Thank God for the healing and definitely my own healing as well. Gynae said I need at least 6 weeks to recover becoz of the deep wound and long tear, but amazing I recovered almost fully by the end of 3 weeks.

As Gerald grows everyday, I keep taking photos as I do not want to miss out or forget his growth even though he's only barely 1 month old. He begins developing habits and even started to show emotions, all I have to do is to keep guessing what he wants. There's the joy of feeding him, patting him to sleep and changing his diapers. Then begins our journey of sleepless nights. I begin to be so sensitive to him that whenever he cries I will juz jump and give him all my attention. No matter how soft his cries were, I will definitely hear it. I know exactly each night what time he will wants milk and whether the confinement nanny gave to him at once. I was preparing myself for his full month and I will take charge fully when the nanny leaves.

Sat, Gerald finally turns 1 month and I was looking forward to this day. I packed my bag or rather his bag and prepared him to meet the world. Brought him to his grandparents' place (both maternal and paternal) and of course, we went to church! I definitely missed church. I am glad Gerald seems to like the nursery as well. I must said that he's rather well-behaved except for a couple of times where he didn't like what he hear and when mummy doesn't want to bao bao him. Yesterday, we brought him out for a lil outing again. This time to meet mummy's ex-colleagues. Short outing but I know he enjoys it. I am counting down each and every day to his growth, I am looking forward to more outings with Gerald.

Of course, during these 34 days, there were times where I felt like I am gg into depression but I got to say there are more happy times that outweighs every other thing. Just by looking and carrying my lil darling, just erases all the negative feelings and unhappy events that had happened. As for now, all I can say is Gerald is my everything and he's mine and daddy's greatest treasure on earth. I love my family!