Life is pretty much the same for the past few days, nothing exciting. Like the previous entry, weekend was pretty much "exciting" and "hazardous" and definitely tired out. This week is pretty much on the recovering side of it all. And this sets me to do some reflection of what the future holds for me and what I want for my future. Looking at myself in the mirror sets me into a depression mode. I dislike the way I look now... i feel so bloated and to a certain extend I wonder if anyone out in the world who sees me on the street thinks I am pregnant. Since 1 month ago, I am experiencing gastric issues and feeling bloated has been part of life now. Whatever goes into my body doesn't seem to be digested and being output out. Thus, causing the huge tummy and all. Since I despise my body, I started on a workout plan. Go to gym frequently after work, but so far only happen at 2x a week. And going on a diet plan... but so far, nothing seems visible to the eyes yet. Why is losing weight seems so impossible??? Getting depress all over... perhaps I am getting impractical by hoping to see results in a wink of an eye. Well ignore me. It's juz 1 of the "frequent" whinings of mine.

After the hectic and unappreciated wedding decor I did over the weekend, I feel maybe I should sit down and really think if I wanted to go full time into this in the future. How far away is the future? 5 years? 10 years? or maybe never... It's a passion to deal with flowers, even though i admit that I am not that creative. Even though this is e start of a business, but I still do not like the feelings of being unappreciated, especially when it comes from friends. :( I totally dislike or rather not satisfied with the decor that I did on weekend. Maybe I have high expectation of my own work. Even after receiving comments from others that it's a great look, but I still not able to convince myself that I did a great job. To me, it's just one of those standard look. Well, how extraordinary you want when that's the amount of money that you can offer and afford. Haha. That's the only consolation that I give myself. Unless people are willing to pay the amount, why should I give them extraordinary works??? Haha. But so far I am still not able to convince myself to have that kind of mindset and standard. Wedding is a once in a lifetime event, and my principle is to provide the best to the make it special for the couple. So question. Principle or Reality?