What has been going on in my life

Been updating on the Vietnam trip and nothing else for the past week. Well, finally everything's confirmed. We are well and ready to go. Gotten a hotel at District 1 HCM and total cost including ticket is $281, plus our travel insurance it's $$297. All well within the budget of $300. Not too bad... hopefully the hotel will turn out to be nice, not like those we see in geylang. Haha. 1st time going to stay at 2 star hotel... it's kind of challenging and dunno what to expect. Anyway, looking forward to have a good time with uncle Ben and ms Ah Dine. Also Ah Dine pls recover soon from the back injury.

Alright, back to the point.. what has been going on my life all these while since beginning of march. Oh well, nothing big except that my family has to deal with the sudden depart of my granny. Lots of things to handle in terms of the funeral and all the expenses and all the rituals and blar blar blar. Granny has lived to an old ripe age of 91 so we weren't that sad as compared to 18 years ago when grandpa passed away. Things are more or less settled now and reality has sunk in that she's gone forever. Even though I wasn't that close to her these few years becoz I was overseas and she's staying in hospics. But I always rem granny was the one who took care of me and my cousins whenever we stayed over at aunt's place. She will watched us play and grow up into who we are today. We kind of miss her now that she's gone and she's always in our memories together with grandpa.

Besides dealing with granny's depart, mom's health isn't in the pink right now. She's has to be scheduled for an operation to take out her entire gall as it is not functioning anymore. This is the 1st time that we (the family) is kind of worried. Recent years, mom has been in and out of the hospital and just last year had a major operation. I dunno how she's handling it, even though she appears to be cheerful and optimistic towards the entire thing, deep down i know my brave mommy has her own worry and fear. Health problems have been around her these 2 years and I know she's not exactly too optimistic towards them. I just keep praying for God to protect and keep her safe and healthy.

What other things happen during this period...

The Wedding
In the midst of preparation and I shall say that I am very lost. A lot of things to prepare and I dun even know if we are even halfway there. We are still looking for a house and that's the biggest worry on our minds right now.

My Own Life (Spiritually)
I shall say that i am right now in a crisis in my spiritual walk with God. I am feeling spiritually dry up and stagnant. So much so that there are times where I just want to sleep thru my weekend and forget about church. But deep down I know the Holy Spirt has reminded me that it's God that I want to meet when i go service and not the cg that matters. Rather I should say that my love for God and the hunger to know and learn about Him is still going strong. But the love for my cg has kind of dry up. I am disappointed. Yes disappointed is the exact word to use to describe my feelings towards my very own cg. Now the question of should I change cg is floating everywhere in my mind. My good friend in church has been advising me to change cg before it's too late. Should I?
I hate the way my cg is of without love. Everyone is juz concern about their own well-being, self centered i called it. So much so that i felt that I am also beginning to be like them. Just concern about my own interest. I always have this feeling that they care only when they are asked to or only if you are within the clingue. Why am I feeling this? Maybe I am bias or prejudice.
I hate the way my cgl appears to be so bo-chup and simply ignore any "complaints" from the members. Maybe he is also feeling tired of all these. But to an extend when he can tell you that he is ignoring your complaints, showed me how much he really cares and how as a cgl he is teachable as well. I mean it doesn't have to be a leader to point out another mistakes right? Anyone can do so I believe. Correct me if I am wrong. Maybe i juz cannot submit to the authority. To me, if he can just take what i have pointed out to him, as a way of venting my frustration and he's ignoring it, then so be it. I have lost almost all the respect i have for him. He is simply disappointing to me now. To me, yes he is still a good cgl but things are already lacking behind and I see no point anymore.
I really dunno what is keeping me in this cg... perhaps it's complacency as well. I dunno. I just pray that God will continue to guide me in this walk.

OH well, this entry seems so discouraging right... please take it as a way for me to "voice" out all my frustration then. I feel suppress... i can't take it anymore. Hope by going to Vietnam will gives me a good rest and new vision and direction.