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Tell me about life man. I am so lazy to drag myself out of the house at all times unless i have no choice at all. No choice refers to gynae visits, doc visits when I dun feel well, sat church svc and maybe sometimes sun shopping, if my mood and body permits. Moving out of the house somehow induces fear in me. Fear of vomiting on the train, fainting on the road and no one knows, fear of the silly hot weather and fear of the tiredness that follows after the trip. Ask me to go shopping, that's what mum and hubby has been trying to get me to do, but what and where to shop? I know it's GSS now, but i no longer can fit into those nice clothes from my fav retailers, nor can I wear those pretty high heels from my fav shoe shops now. Everything will have to wait till at least end of the year. Besides, I have to save money. I need to spare a thought for this family. Sometimes I feel stress up. Why? Stress that I have to go out... I wonder if this is due to the hormones changes in the body due to baby.
Many ask if I am enjoying the pregnancy, the joy of being the queen for now. Well, can I say that I dislike more than like? I dislike the vomiting, the everlasting headache, the sleepless night, the high body temperature and last of all, the loneliness. All of a sudden, I felt friendless. I wonder where is my best friend who has been standing by me all these years? We seems like strangers now. I dislike my weird taste bud where I dun even know exactly what I can eat or what my baby likes to eat. I dislike the frequent fatigue feeling that keeps me in bed almost the entire 24hrs. I dislike displaying a happy face on weekends when I really dun feel like it, but trying to psycho myself that if i am surrounded with people I will be happy. I dislike the fact that I have to take cabs and let those uncles earn my money but sometimes not exactly making me feel better than taking train. I simply have no motivation to move on at all.
So what do I enjoy? I enjoy being wait on like a queen, no need to do housework (how true is that? not true at all! I wish I could be up and running, ironing clothes, washing clothes, mopping floor and definitely cooking my own meals!) You may say that how envy you are towards me for I can rest at home and be queen and best of all, no need to work. Oh please, if I have a choice... I want to work. Now my greatest wish is for time to pass and flies like nobody business and Nov will be here in a wink of an eye. I want baby to come out so I can resume my role as who I was before. Where are those "feel good months" that people have been telling me? I have not experience a single bit of it at all. Sigh... perhaps that why older people said that's why mothers are the greatest. I hope so.
2 comments:
I don't want to burst your bubble but truthfully, being pregnant is a bliss as compared to when the baby is actually out! I only realised it now.
When I was pregnant, we could at least go shopping, catch movies, or eat whatever whenever we wanted. When the baby came along, we had to be mindful about crowded places, lack of nursing facilities, his feeding times (every 2 hours), his bedtime, and his not being used to outdoors. And of course, not to mention, the sorely-missed 8-hour sleep!
Although I must say I never felt less ache in my body since one year ago, but I do realise how luxury my life had been. Now I have to deliberate every shopping trip, reject every social call. And they say, having the little one thriving on will make your day. Well, not much if he constantly need your attention. Can be awfully tiring.
Look at me, all long-winded. I should just call you. Sorry about saying I wd but I never do. The baby is King now and I don't even have time to make my bed less make a call!
Will share more with you. Can't wait to hear about your experiences too :)
Hey Sylvia! So nice to see your comment. I do understand totally what you said about life before being preggie and becoming a mum. :) Appreciate the sharing. :)
Call me when you are free, of coz baby comes 1st now.
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